Sick of your Shitty Movies, Hollywood

I think I am the only person in the world who does not want to see The Hangover. My boyfriend asked me to go, telling me that apparently it's a critically acclaimed comedy, people are going wild over it! That's great dear, and I'm sure other people may find it funny, I'm sure I may even find parts of it funny if I switched off my brain for a while.
The thing is, I'm really not in the mood, ever, to pay money to sit in front of a screen for two hours being assaulted with the Bromosocial way of life, that ideally does not include women. The only women ever involved in these bullshit identical movies that have been spewed forth in a steady vile stream over the past few years are as such;

1. The Mommy-Wife. She nags, she's whiny, she's generally 50% hotter than the husband she is married to, just wants him to do things like "grow up" and "get a job" and "contribute to the relationship" and all those stupid things that only girls do.
2. The Manic Pixie Dream Girl-type Lady. She's quirky and pretty and wears funny clothes and does CRAZY things like; jumps off cliffs into the sea, makes main-character-dude go run out in the rain, laughs at all his jokes, never ever judges a thing he says, politely accepts when he cheats on her.
3. The Ugly/Fat/Old/Drunk Whore. Ew! She's ugly! She's so fat! She's so drunk! She's a "cougar"! One of the main dude characters will have sex with her anyway, but EW! As if anyone would want to put their penis in that! Even though I clearly did!

Chicks in these movies are basically only there to present the main dudebro with the opportunity to learn his big life lesson at the end of the movie where he realises something along the lines of; "Wow, I am a giant turdmonster whose life is a cesspool of idleness. I will make this tiny change and voila, I now have the perfect dudebro life." Cue entire cast singing in rainbow world, or all the main characters circle-jerking about what awesome friends they are. We've come so far, and learnt so much!

So...no, I don't want to watch a movie about dudes, and why chicks are gross, cause they have vaginas, and vaginas are totally gross, but we'll fuck them anyway, and man don't you hate it when your wife nags you, and haha, look at that fat whore. And you know what's funny? PENIS!LOL!

In other news;

• You can have a read of what Sady at Tiger Beatdown has to say about the Hangover.
• Check out the trailer for Woody Harrelson's awesome new zombie movie, Zombieland.
• In case anyone doesn't know, I have an obsession with all things Frankenstein, and I found this the other day - Bride of Frankenstein-inspired nude pinup. NSFW Obviously.
• Short zombie film, I Love Sarah Jane, starring the girl who's playing Alice in Tim Burton's new Alice in Wonderland.
• Monster Island is a serialized online novel about, you guessed it, zombies.
  
• More pimping for Prime geek nightclub which is coming up fast on the 11th of July.
• And one last one, if you're interested in watching movies that don't rely on casual misogyny for laughs, give the Bechdel Test a try. It involves watching only movies that fit the following criteria:

1. It has to have at least two women in it,
2. Who talk to each other,
3. About something besides a man.

I aim to give it a go....Will require some research beforehand though.

Oh and for anyone who is close to me/cares, I got booked in for my surgery on the 20th July, and will be out of commission for a week after that. So if you wanna come round and give me casseroles, flowers, massages, cupcakes, ponies, rainbows or just treats in general, I would like that.

RIP Michael

Prime Nightclub Pimping

Prime Nightclub is being organised by my friends Chani (@scribewraith) and Disa (@atratus_rowena) and I'd like to spread the word a bit because I'm insanely excited about it.
I met up with Chani tonight to grab some flyers from her to spread around town so if you're interested, please let me know so I can get one to you. My boyfriend drew the art for them and I'd also like to get his work seen - he's a comic artist, currently working on creating a portfolio site which I'll give some blog-love to when it's up and running. I'm not just saying it cause I love him and get to see him naked, but he really is the most awesome artist ever. Way better than you, anyway.

Prime is being held on Saturday 11th July at the Shafston Hotel in East Brisbane from 8pm until 2pm. It will be 18+ and ID will be required as there is booze and there is an $8 cover charge. The Shafston Hotel is on the corner of Lytton and Wellington Roads. It looks like buses 235 and 475 will get you there, or you can take the CityCat to the Mowbray Park Ferry Terminal.

It will basically be a nightclub for geeks. There will be PC's and plasma TV's set up with consoles for gaming, music all night, a little tiny bit of dancing. At least, everyone will probably stand around watching my friend Pan dance. If you do not know or have not seen Pan dance before, please watch the video below....



Pan and my boyfriend Aaron will be DJing so I'm guessing the music will be a mixture of Oingo Boingo, They Might Be Giants, Talking Heads, lots and lots from the 80s, plus a little punk, goth and maybe some old Eurovision pop in there. Like this song...



I was talking with Chani about whether it would be cool for people to bring their laptops in case there's WiFi, and little LAN parties could get going - she's not sure if there is WiFi there, so if you're interested and would love to game while you're there, keep an eye out on their twitter for more updates as the night draws closer.
She's also said there will be some giveaways, games, comics, books, CD's. Awesome.

If you aren't convinced yet then I give up on you.

Follow Prime on Twitter.

Sunday is Gloomy

I'm having a wonderful rainy Sunday, finally having a chance to just lie in bed drinking tea and spending some quality time with my friend, the Internet.
Some things coming up soon:

• Tomorrow I'm having the last of my tattoo inked in, it will finally be fully coloured and come to life. Not really looking forward to being in pain for another four days or so, but them's the breaks.
• Thursday I have an appointment up at the hospital to assess my health and put me on the list to have surgery to have the lump removed from my boob. The doctor I'm seeing is Dr Christopher Pike, which pleases me no end. One beep for yes, two beeps for no.
• July 4th I will be working at the Paniyiri Greek festival on at Musgrave Park, South Brisbane, cleaning up plates of octopus, half-eaten honey puffs and red wine. It's going to be disgusting, but I'll be rich by the end of it.
• July 11th is Prime Nightclub at the Shafston Hotel in East Brisbane, from 8pm till 2am and it is going to be AWESOME. My friends Chani and Disa are running it and if you want more info check out their twitter stream here: @PrimeBrisbane

I went to a party last night at Chani's house to celebrate the Solstice - longest night of the year. She has a party every year where everyone stays up all night having fun. I lasted till about 2am before me and my boyfriend cabbed it home. I'm so not up for late nights anymore. It gets to about 1am and I just can't be bothered staying awake anymore. It's not like when I was 14 and drinking a cup of coffee every hour just so we could stay up to watch the sun rise. The sun rise is no fun anymore.

I have been considering having my own clothes swap party after having a great time at @definatalie's a few weeks back and scoring some excellent new clothes when I really needed them. I'm just having a bit of trouble with deciding who to invite. The whole point of the party that I liked the most was the body-positivity aspect, a safe space to grab some clothes that make you feel good and get rid of the ones that don't. I'm kind of afraid that I won't be able to get that point across to the people that I do want to invite - and I'm not sure some of them would understand it. I'm afraid to throw a party where people will come along and feel bad about their bodies, cause that's the exact opposite of what I want.

Anyway, I feel like making cupcakes and playing with my rat, so here are some obligatory zombie links for ye.

Undead Barbie
A giant list of zombie rhymes
Zombie Apocafest Lego festival set on flickr - awesome! Need to go out and get myself some Lego.
Zombie High Heels

And finally, please enjoy the shit out of this AMAZING claymation zombie film. It's actually really creepy and the goriest thing ever! Youtube user takena has heaps more bloody claymation movies on his channel, check them out!

Workworkwork

I know I haven’t blogged in ages and I suck. I’m sorry. I’ve been really busy at work lately which is awesome and makes me happy. My position is changing so now not only am I doing my current job which is sort of administration/personal assistant to everyone/lackey but I’m also doing sales and quoting now which is a whole new skill set I’m not used to but I’m enjoying learning. I have lots more to fill my days with!

I was just asked to have a look at creating a corporate blog for our company so now I’m all excited because I love more responsibility and being able to do something I know.
And then I researched it and realized how very little I know about creating websites so I’m looking for lots and lots of suggestions.
Specifically, if you’re interested in helping me out, please leave me a comment answering any or all of the following questions….

What corporate/business blogs do you visit that really stand out to you, and what are the features that keep you interested and coming back, what use do you get from them?

What kind of posts would you be most interested in reading on a business blog?

What do you NOT enjoy seeing on business or corporate blogs?

Lastly does anyone have a WordPress blog? I’m considering starting one up and maybe moving over there – I like the look of the site and lots of the features there, it seems a lot more in-depth and customizable than Blogger here.

Comments may be redeemable for cupcakes. Please contact me for further information.

Books

I've been taking a blogging & internet vacation lately, because I'm too stressed to talk about anything other than my problems, and I'm too caught up in my own problems to look at other blogs or care about what other people are doing.
To wind down every night I watch a couple episodes of The Office because mama needs her stories and I just can't get over how awesome it is to watch Jim & Pam.

The other night I finally took the time to watch No Country For Old Men and I wish I hadn't waited so long because it's shot straight into my All Time Top Five Favourites. I need to get my hands on a copy of the book - so if you can help out, please do.

I went to the Lifeline Bookfest today and here's what I scored:
The Incredible Melting Man by Phil Smith - exactly what it sounds like.
The Change by George C. Foster - a sci-fi novel exploring the ramifications of a world where humans begin to grow younger instead of older.
Red Sonja - fuck yeah. Anyone else excited for the new Rodriguez movie coming out starring Rose McGowan?
The Jewels of Aptor by Samuel R. Delany - Some guy, in some world, somewhere in the universe, does something. I don't know, but I've been wanting to read some Delany.
The Funhouse by Owen West - Horror in a circus sideshow.
The Furies by Keith Roberts - Atomic war on earth breeds giant wasps with bloodlust.
Tron by Brian Daley - TRON!!!
Looking For Jake by China Mieville - Mieville is supposed to be a super awesome author, and I've tried to read him before but he writes epic things I just can't get behind. This one is a set of short stories so I'll start out this way.
Others & Shrine by James Herbert - Supposed to be one of the best horror writers ever. Time to give him a go, also, people with the last name Herbert seem to be great sci-fi/horror writers.
Also got two big horror anthology books, and one novel (Surrender the Pink) by CARRIE FISHER! I love you Carrie Fisher.

What's your favourite horror novels, authors, movies?

Now it's Office time, but I'll end by showing this awesome No Country related video I just found. Laugh. Enjoy yourself.

Worst Wednesday Ever

My apologies for not posting in a while - my net got capped last week, work has been ultra busy and today has joined the other nominees in the election of Worst Day of My Life.
I will give a few brief reasons before I move on to just link-spamming, posting this, and going to sleep. It's not even 6pm. I'm done with today.

• Our job positions are changing at work and I had to spend time training. It was godawful.
• Somehow nothing I did was good enough and my boss (dad) was treating me like an idiot.
  
• I have the worst period cramps ever. No amount of painkiller will help. I also have a ginormous headache that just won't go away.
  
• I just got my tattoo re-inked on Monday, so that is also swollen, painful and itchy.
• I swapped desks with someone, and in the process I started to smell real bad. I didn't take any deoderant to work.
• I had to spend hours going back over a convoluted spreadsheet because I wasn't given the correct information the first time.
• Around the end of the day I received a phone call from my doctor's surgery to say that my pap smear test had come back with an abnormal reading. I didn't even listen at the time, just booked another appointment. It wasn't until I started walking home that I realised what that means. Bit of a shock.

AND NOW, TO DIRECT YOUR ATTENTION ELSEWHERE, SOME LINKS!

If you're in Brisbane and free on Saturday 20th June you should definitely come to the Dead of Winter Festival at the Jubilee Hotel in the Valley because it will be a full day of bands, booze, burlesque, market stalls and horror movies. Dude. That rules. Check out their myspace page if you dare.

You can read the first chapter of author S.G. Browne's zombie romantic comedy called Breathers here. I read it and it wins my seal of approval - perhaps I may even buy the book. It seems in Browne's zombie world, when you turn into a zombie it's like turning into a "lower class" of people. You can still talk and think and love - you're just filthy cause you eat brains.

The Black Cherry Bombshells is an awesome comic about chicks who kill zombies. Are you guys sensing a theme here too? It's available to read online.

Oh, holy crap, THIS one rules - It's a company called MotoArt who create wicked furniture out of used airplane parts. Yeah. Dude. I'm not saying anyone reading this will be able to afford any of that furniture, but you should click on that link just so you can drool over the thought of having a wing-table. Or an engine-desk.

Inner City Snail. It's awesome.

The trailer for the film adaption of Cormac McCarthy's awesome book The Road. It has sweet sweet Viggo Mortensen *drool*.



Also one last one from Shakesville's Feminism 101 to shut you up if you were thinking of telling me maybe I'm only having a bad day cause I'm on the rag. Cause I already had one person tell me that today, and the only thing their mother has left to bury is a skin-sack.

Goodnight!