Drunk

I am. I am so drunk. It is almost 5pm on Sunday afternoon. I have had the last week off work - I had surgery on my boob on Monday, and I thought I'd be all in pain. But actually, I felt nothing, all week. And when I say I felt nothing I mean, my brain felt nothing. My boob hurt a little from time to time but I just don't want to wake up anymore because I feel nothing - or too much.
I'm drinking this pretty bottle of red wine called Vampire, and that's the only reason I bought it.
I'm listening to the Mountain Goats and sitting in my room, which I moved around because I thought that might make me feel better. While I was moving it I temporarily forgot about how shit I feel, but now it's right back to normal. Only difference is now I can see the sky.
I feel so fucking terrible.
You know those moments where you just go "my life is going nowhere"?
And how you get really pissed at people who say that, because they could change it if they want to?
Well shut the fuck up.
I'm drunk.
Is it so much to ask to just get nailed like, once in a while?